So I turned the big quarter of a century a
few months back, though excited and thankful to the Almighty I was concerned,
really concerned. So much so that, I didn't’ even celebrate my birthday, not
that I usually do, but this one was especially muted.
I was worried that things were not moving
according to plan at least not as fast as I envisioned. Let’s just say if 18
year old Poghie was around, I would have had a hard time explaining what was
going on. Especially when he realises that I haven’t laid the high school sweet
heart..yet, hehe. It could easily deteriorate into a full fight, as I still am
the size of 18 year old me, he might just beat me up, as he would be fitter and
faster.
Seriously things seem to be going well for
my peers, the lucky ones are already in their dream jobs, in their own houses,
driving, in short they are living the life. Girls I used to date have tois,
married or both. I keep seeing 25 year olds on tele flipping the world on its
axis, at this age Jesus had already turned water into wine (I think..) what
about me? Who me? Well I’m still at my folks place, skipping through jobs, almost
done with my first degree, with only a ka blog to show haha..
At 25, you are now considered an adult,
really, you are legal across the globe, not like they told you at 18. Life has
just started to take shape, you have a clearer picture of what you want to do
and how. You have completely shed the teenager mind set, you have started to
define yourself, seeing the big picture. We don’t expect any drastic changes from
this point, just steps in the right direction.
So on my 25th birthday I wrote
this, 11 things every self-respecting Kenyan man should have achieved at 25. To
fellow 25 year olds who might be wallowing in this miasma (I have never used
that phrase since class 8 so I just had to, school fees haikutolewa bure) and
to young lads who are yet to get to 25 to help them set goals.
As you can see it started out as a serious
thing, but I quickly realised that it was my birthday and there was no need to
make other people feel as gloomy as I was. Thus it quickly deteriorated into a
fun game, and a great read. So good that after reading it repeatedly for a
little over 4 months, I finally decided to post it here, the last time I wrote
here was in 2011.
So here goes, some of these things can’t be
expressed properly in English so when I drift to sheng…elewa and enjoy!
1. Have a bank account, KRA PIN and a
serious email address –the account might not have much, or anything but just
have one, do I need to go over the importance of a KRA pin? A serious email
address, one that you can confidently give without the ‘ati?’ one you can use
to send your CV or a proposal to prospective employers/business partners.
2. Keep a constantly updated CV – this is
to those who are still tarmacking, it goes without saying really but you will
be surprised how many guys are told to give their CVs then don’t have one or
last time they updated it was in their Form 4 English composition class.
3. Have more than 3 certificates, i.e.
Birth, KCPE and KCSE – A professional certificate of sorts, a diploma a degree.
If not then have a skill in something, basically kua umeongeza kitu kwa akili
from your high school days.
4. Know your ID number by heart – you have
had that card for the past 7 years, you have used it a million times, wrote
your ID number over and over, in those books at the entrance of every building,
application forms etc. I don’t care how bad you are with numbers, you have to
know this number by heart.
5. Follow at least one sport religiously – you
are a man, that is it, no discussions. By now you should know one sport inside
out, so much so that you can coach a kids team to a mtaa championship. The more
sports the merrier, doesn’t matter if you have played it or not..
6. Have at least fallen in love once – well
this one is highly relative, we are very different but at least have one serious
relationship under you, apart from the one you are in now, unless it has been
on for 7 years. You are on the highway to marriage (unless you are like me, the Sir Njonjo type), trust me, either way at least have the
basic knowledge of how to handle a lady.
7. Know how to cook a basic meal – I don’t
mean that you suddenly become Chef Ramsey, but at least know how to cook a
full, edible meal, and No mayai boiled or fried does not count. Top of that
list should be ugali, jua kusonga ugali, then one stew hata tumbukiza. Then be
able to choma nyama. Also know the steps to make one or two sophisticated meals
or bake, it comes in handy.
8. Be knowledgeable – Know what is going on
not only in the country but around the globe. Watch the news, read more than
just the sports section and Pulse in the newspapers. Know enough to form an
opinion and to hold a conversation. Know your County Rep, MP, Senator and
Governor hata wa ocha..
9. Be able to converse in your mother
tongue – most of us have been brought up in Nairobi, be that as it may, 25
years and you can’t form a sentence in your mother tongue? So how do you talk to
your grand folks. Also know your ushago, be able to take yourself there..
10. Made a decision on your sexuality –
this should not even be here, but if you feel that there is a little girl
inside you, please bring her out now. Don’t make life awkward for your friends
and relatives who have known you as a man for more than a quarter of a century
, ati you were born that way..kumbaff!!
11. Made a decision on whether you drink
alcohol, smoke cigarettes, chew miraa or other drugs – You had a whole 7 years
or more to experiment with these forbidden fruits. Don’t come now and say you
want to start drinking, boss watu wanamaliza marathon weh ndio una anza? Who
will be carrying your drunk ass,ati ju ndio unatafuta limits zako?
You can catch me on Odd Shaped Balls Kenya where I scribble frequently on the game they play in heaven...
