You Know You Were Brought Up By A Kenyan Mum If..

Having been brought up by two of the greatest Mums to roam God's earth. Needless to say that they were Kenyan, there are things that I do to this day that only an individual that was brought up by these great crop of mums can relate to.

Habits that I have to this day, that when I get to perform them, I do so with a wide smile, with an eye to the skies. Knowing that they are looking down on their son, amidst high fives probably saying, "Hata kama hajapata kazi na hakai kuoa in this life time, yenyewe tulijaribu kumfundisha." (But now in Kamba.)

There are those small things that we can't do, or can't do without, even as grown up as we are. It is these little things that we'll look at today.

• When you take a shower or kujipaka mafuta the one place you can't and won't forget to attend to is behind your ears, then lazima ulikua mtu wa dufo mpararo na kuparara hiyo place ndio ilikua inafanywa ushikwe.

• When stirring your cup of tea , you don't do it like you are ringing a school bell, and when you get to sipping the tea, you never make a sound, no matter how hot it is. Kuna vikombe kadhaa za chai hukuwai maliza ju ya ile vita ulishikwa

• You can never ever be caught dead without a handkerchief.. 

• Eating at your neighbour's place is still a scary undertaking. Still on food, huwezi bakisha chakula, heri ukufe ukikula.

•  Even though you probably have your own kitchen by now, you can't sleep with dirty dishes in your sink. 

• Alongside that kitchen, you probably have a sofa and a bed, but you can never place dirty feet on them, heri ukae ni ka uko kwa mat, na uko kwako.

• You instinctively hit the room's light switch when you walk out, the T.V and anything else that consumes electricity, hata socket haina kitu huwezi wacha switch yake ikiwa on.

These are just from the top of my head, feel free to add yours below, those little habits that make you proud of being raised by the best mums in the world, Kenyan mums.

KWISHA....Nimeruka Nje!!!

When I Die...

" When I die, bury me inside the Jewelry store, When I die, bury me inside the Truey store, True to my religion, true everything I'm too different…So when I die, bury me next to .." 

*cue birthday song, hehe I couldn't resist, always found it ironical though, that they would sing about death in a birthday song. I digress…

Onto serious matters, events over the past couple of weeks have weighed heavily on my mind. And as is with everything else, it starts as some pretty serious issue(s) then quickly degenerates into something I can laugh at and pick a few lessons from.

Throughout my short life, this cruel thing called death has claimed several people I held dear, but it’s the last couple of incidents that have got me really thinking. Over the weekend, a pilot friend of mine died in a plane crash in Kilifi. It still doesn't seem real, he had just started living his life, in his mid-twenties, he was now on his run way to the life.

I sit back at times and think, no hope, that Rojo would come back and be part of the sevens side that lifts the first cup title at the series, na ndio tulipane ile deni ya maji ya Dar. That I’ll be somewhere at Impala or Quins, and Mishu would pop out of nowhere like she used to, and we’ll talk and laugh like we always did.

That when Arsenal end their 9 year trophy drought later this month, we’ll be watching it hapo kwa kina Jijo with Ndiso. That when KCB lift the Kenya cup, in the same weekend, we’ll be toasting with Ochino to the perfect Arsenal, KCB weekend.

Whenever I think along these lines, which has been quite often in the last few days, what hits me hard is the realisation that this life can end in a snap, one minute you are here the next..poof! So I started asking myself, what would happen if I was the next on line? With things blowing up all over, diseases, this crazy lifestyle we lead..that could be sooner than we think..

It would definitely be a happy re union with my folks, with the afore mentioned souls and many more. But what if I could give pointers to what I would like to happen when I do kick the proverbial bucket, kind of like a will, but since I have no property to share yet..it would go something like this..

First if I do die like now, look for two fat boys, one I call PPS the other I call Crony..then find out how another 8 big ass men called the Poed are doing. The good pastor, the big brother and close family would have probably already known.. and yes I don’t have a girlfriend, yet!

Don’t start flooding my social media pages, with RIP messages, oooh sijui gone too soon. Be creative with your messages and wishes, they might just help up there..try something like, “May you be in charge of the recruitment agency that distributes the 72 virgins,” or “May you start ‘OSBHE’ huko”.. (the ‘HE’ is for Heaven by the way, don’t get it twisted, it is the game they play in HEAVEN!)

If tulikua tumekosana before my demise, keep your condolences to yourself, if ushawai nirusha pesa zangu, follow suit. If, ladies, nishawai kuomba ukanikataa, kataa pia na hizo rambi rambi zako. If the last time we spoke was just before the last Safari sevens, niwache priss, jiwekee machozi zako, you are not mourning me, just a wasted opportunity to free saf sevens tickets.. If you fall in one or all of those categories and still insist on kujifanya kunimourn, I will haunt you, till the after life, ukikuja huko utakua form 1 wangu forever!

Please don’t allow them to play that boring funeral music at my burial, you’ll probably fail in this attempt as utasomewa kikamba iishe, but at least play some good music on your way there and back. You know, Johnny Cash’s Ain’t no grave, Pdiddy and Faith Evans’ Missing you, Khona, R.Kelly's I wish, just from the top of my head..ok I’ll make a playlist.

I know this will be said several times, “Don’t be sad, he is in a happy place..” well I hope they are right, but don’t beat yourself up, ujinyime vitu on my account, cry endlessly, such stuff. Machozi ingeweza rudisha mtu, dunia ingekua imejaa, I am not saying that you don’t cry at all, lia kidogo the first few days then suck it up..si ati 2 weeks down the line bado unalia, kwani nilikua na deni yako?

Speaking of denis, if you owed me any money, you are exempted from contributing at my matanga. Otherwise if I owed you any money, you are supposed to pay double the amount at my matanga..yes and I will be watching.

I’ll end my list here so that I still have more than eight friends after this post. So what is today’s lesson? I read somewhere not long ago, “Give them their roses while they are still alive.”  

In other words, appreciate the people you have in your life, while they are still here. Don’t wait for them to die then start weeping over missed opportunities. Second lesson, a cliché.. live it to the fullest, I’d say YOLO but it would murder all the 800 words you just read!

KWISHA…Nimeruka Nje!!!

(Catch me on www.osbke.com where we talk about the sport they play in heaven…)

11 Things Every Self-respecting Kenyan Man Should Have Achieved At 25!

So I turned the big quarter of a century a few months back, though excited and thankful to the Almighty I was concerned, really concerned. So much so that, I didn't’ even celebrate my birthday, not that I usually do, but this one was especially muted.

I was worried that things were not moving according to plan at least not as fast as I envisioned. Let’s just say if 18 year old Poghie was around, I would have had a hard time explaining what was going on. Especially when he realises that I haven’t laid the high school sweet heart..yet, hehe. It could easily deteriorate into a full fight, as I still am the size of 18 year old me, he might just beat me up, as he would be fitter and faster.

Seriously things seem to be going well for my peers, the lucky ones are already in their dream jobs, in their own houses, driving, in short they are living the life. Girls I used to date have tois, married or both. I keep seeing 25 year olds on tele flipping the world on its axis, at this age Jesus had already turned water into wine (I think..) what about me? Who me? Well I’m still at my folks place, skipping through jobs, almost done with my first degree, with only a ka blog to show haha..

At 25, you are now considered an adult, really, you are legal across the globe, not like they told you at 18. Life has just started to take shape, you have a clearer picture of what you want to do and how. You have completely shed the teenager mind set, you have started to define yourself, seeing the big picture. We don’t expect any drastic changes from this point, just steps in the right direction.

So on my 25^th birthday I wrote this, 11 things every self-respecting Kenyan man should have achieved at 25. To fellow 25 year olds who might be wallowing in this miasma (I have never used that phrase since class 8 so I just had to, school fees haikutolewa bure) and to young lads who are yet to get to 25 to help them set goals.

As you can see it started out as a serious thing, but I quickly realised that it was my birthday and there was no need to make other people feel as gloomy as I was. Thus it quickly deteriorated into a fun game, and a great read. So good that after reading it repeatedly for a little over 4 months, I finally decided to post it here, the last time I wrote here was in 2011.

So here goes, some of these things can’t be expressed properly in English so when I drift to sheng…elewa and enjoy!

1. Have a bank account, KRA PIN and a serious email address –the account might not have much, or anything but just have one, do I need to go over the importance of a KRA pin? A serious email address, one that you can confidently give without the ‘ati?’ one you can use to send your CV or a proposal to prospective employers/business partners.

2. Keep a constantly updated CV – this is to those who are still tarmacking, it goes without saying really but you will be surprised how many guys are told to give their CVs then don’t have one or last time they updated it was in their Form 4 English composition class.

3. Have more than 3 certificates, i.e. Birth, KCPE and KCSE – A professional certificate of sorts, a diploma a degree. If not then have a skill in something, basically kua umeongeza kitu kwa akili from your high school days.

4. Know your ID number by heart – you have had that card for the past 7 years, you have used it a million times, wrote your ID number over and over, in those books at the entrance of every building, application forms etc. I don’t care how bad you are with numbers, you have to know this number by heart.

5. Follow at least one sport religiously – you are a man, that is it, no discussions. By now you should know one sport inside out, so much so that you can coach a kids team to a mtaa championship. The more sports the merrier, doesn’t matter if you have played it or not..

6. Have at least fallen in love once – well this one is highly relative, we are very different but at least have one serious relationship under you, apart from the one you are in now, unless it has been on for 7 years. You are on the highway to marriage (unless you are like me, the Sir Njonjo type), trust me, either way at least have the basic knowledge of how to handle a lady.

7. Know how to cook a basic meal – I don’t mean that you suddenly become Chef Ramsey, but at least know how to cook a full, edible meal, and No mayai boiled or fried does not count. Top of that list should be ugali, jua kusonga ugali, then one stew hata tumbukiza. Then be able to choma nyama. Also know the steps to make one or two sophisticated meals or bake, it comes in handy.

8. Be knowledgeable – Know what is going on not only in the country but around the globe. Watch the news, read more than just the sports section and Pulse in the newspapers. Know enough to form an opinion and to hold a conversation. Know your County Rep, MP, Senator and Governor hata wa ocha..

9. Be able to converse in your mother tongue – most of us have been brought up in Nairobi, be that as it may, 25 years and you can’t form a sentence in your mother tongue? So how do you talk to your grand folks. Also know your ushago, be able to take yourself there..

10. Made a decision on your sexuality – this should not even be here, but if you feel that there is a little girl inside you, please bring her out now. Don’t make life awkward for your friends and relatives who have known you as a man for more than a quarter of a century , ati you were born that way..kumbaff!!

11. Made a decision on whether you drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, chew miraa or other drugs – You had a whole 7 years or more to experiment with these forbidden fruits. Don’t come now and say you want to start drinking, boss watu wanamaliza marathon weh ndio una anza? Who will be carrying your drunk ass,ati ju ndio unatafuta limits zako?

I could go on and on, the general idea is that after 25, things are serious, even though you are told that it’s never that serious. That being said, the beauty with life is that you hold yourself to your own yard stick, as long as you are comfortable with what you are doing and where you are..thaas it!

You can catch me on Odd Shaped Balls Kenya where I scribble frequently on the game they play in heaven...

Sol Filosofia And a Dance hall craze!

So it has taken me almost forever to review sautisol's sophomore  album 'Sol filosofia' I have good reasons..just read on!

My first reaction to this album was almost disgust! Key word being almost..
I mean after the debut album literally swept us all off our feet..some of those feet landed us in bed severally. (if you know what I mean!) To follow that up with this was a bit disappointing to say the very least. We all knew that matching up to their first album which was a real classic in every sense of the word,was always going to be a tough ask..not this tough though!

I couldn't get through the first 5 songs on my very first listen. Though Mbinguni wasn't bad,I just hit the foward button to 'Coming Home' then 'Soma kijana' after that,I picked their first album and sang along to every note just to soothe my ears!
It was not that bad,production quality was at the very tip top! But doing almost a whole album in Luhya..and whatever other language that was...Really? It's good to get in touch with your roots..but once you get that touch please get back to the branches and leaves...After comparing notes with my friends the next day...I realised that they agreed with me,though they kinda liked it. One was a Luhya who couldn't speak the language..I guess to him it was amusing to hear something familiar on such gracious composition. The other was a Luo...he just likes smooth sissy stuff it doesn't matter if he has no idea what is being said. That was my biggest beef,I did not get what they were singing. So assuming that I was a bit harsh..I gave it another listen,this time only to number 5! I just couldn't..wtf is Awinja?
I spend the rest of the week...maybe month trying to get past 7 tracks excluding the obvious. It was average,re doing tracks and all. I finally listened to the whole thing without touching the 'fwd' nor 'next' button. Once,Twice..and a bit more,was this the same album? Then they went on tour somewhere in Austin,Texas. They rocked it to pieces..I have evidence,njungus were singing to lazizi like they knew what it meant.

Right then it hit me..I don't have to understand what they are saying,I just have to flow with it. How else do I listen to Lingala? Music is much more than the actual words...its more how the words intertwine with the melody..its the harmony.

So I listened to it again with this new mind set...and Oh my Khosh!! Wonderful..I was singing along.. With this new found mind set..this album is awesome. A 7/10..though listening to 'Awinja' by sauti sol and lets say...'Windeck' by cabo snoop has no difference to me since I don't get what either means...I listen for the music..and I like it!

If you haven't listened to sol filosofia,by now where have you been? Firstly this album is a grower..if you are anything like me,it wont get to you immediately..give it time!

 Now to what has hit many of us by utter surprise! Let me put this into perspective..a few years ago when I was in high school (No scrap that..) many years ago when I was in high school,reggae music was associated with thieves,crooks in short 'wanati' there never was a reggae concert that did not end in disaster.They attracted a certain crowd. Reggae was mostly confined to schools and this was considered a stage in life when one was most rebelious i.e Form 2 through to 4,which one was to pass by..Swiftly and get back to their senses.
Out here I remember my big brother telling me that Reggae music is for failures,excluding his best friend as the only successful individual who listens to reggae.

Now you get it right? Fast forward to today. Reggae is still here,but a softer version of the same,rather a more danceable version has come up! (And no moving a step forward then two back is not dancing!) Dance hall! And oh my...it has taken over,every club you step into, Westlands to Githurai,every matatu you board,every radio station you tune into heck there's even a radio station dedicated to this genre of music.
I remember when it started,I was upto date with the latest ridims..oh unfinished business..mara cardiac bass ohh ohh oohhh. Then I dont know what happened to me,I lost track or rather I was overwhelmed. They are producing ridims faster than kenchic take to make fries,and everyone wants a piece of the action. And I mean EVERYONE..I have a 'rockstar' who has turned absolutely to dancehall music,she knows every ridim fresh out of jamaica,with very weird names...Red bull and Guiness to stress free and everything in between yes even Hot milk!
Am not complaining,I love reggae music am just astonished at the rate it has changed,these days dancehall concerts end in a different type of disaster..cc Rdx! And they attract a wide range of followers,cutting across all social and economical boundaries...it's good to see!

Kwaheri!

Of Kenyan Productions...and Introducing number 10!!

 Firstly even before I start...a standing ovation for our latest kenyan T.V productions.Let's dive in a little bit...productions like Changes,Changing times,Makutano junction (this is where it all started for me!),Mheshimiwa,Beba Beba,Machachari,Siri,Noose of Gold e.t.c I cant remember all of them! Thy are really a testament to how far kenyan t.v has come (remember tahamaki?) the quality,content of these programmes is unrivaled in the region if not further! ...am just proud these days I can sit infront of my T.v and enjoy a local production,without being afraid! Though it's the same people being rotated its still worth watching. At this rate itakua "PAMOJA TUANGAMIZE NIGERIA AND SOAP OPERAS!"
But surely we have more actors..Try them out too! Otherwise kudos.

Noose Of gold - N.T.V

Changing times - K.T.N

Number 10!
Druuuuuummm rooooollllll........So we kick start the top ten football players count down with number 10!

10. Steven Gerrard.

Born 30 May 1980 in Whiston Merseyside,As folklore would have it,it was on this day that the life was sucked out of the kop and pumped into young Stevie G! He made his Liverpool debut in 1988 and has never looked back since (so to speak!) he had to displace Sammy Hyppia in 2001 to take his rightful place as captain (captain fantastic as he is known!)..to date. For me he is one of the few (very) english players I adore and pity in almost same measure! Adore because he is one of the greatest box to box midfielders ever to grace this world,he defends just as good as he attacks,you can place Gerrard anywhere in a football pitch and he'll deliver (yes even at goal keeper!). The most memorable momment in his illustrious career so far would be the night vs olympiacos at anfield..with a place in the knock out stages at stake! Olympiacos scored first,meaning Liverpool needed to score 3..with the score at 2-1 in the 85th minute Gerrard collected a loose ball from a corner kick and smashed it into the far left corner hard and low (trade mark Gerrard)!! On that day it was more of Steven Gerrard Vs the Greeks! Some term that goal as the one that won Liverpool the champions league that year,but there was the small issue of A.C Milan being 3 up in the second half! That was sorted in 6 minutes..we all know the story! His lowest has to be the own goal against Chelsea in the league cup final 2005. So you ask why I pity him? give a minute I'll get to that! With Liverpool he has bagged the following personal achievements.

•  Football Writters Player of the Year : 2009
• PFA Player's Player of the year : 2006
• PFA Player of the Year: 2001
• PFA Fans Player of the year : 2001, 2009
• Liverpool Top Goal scorer : 2004-05, 2005-06, 2008-09
• UEFA Club footballer of the Year : 2005
• UEFA Champions league final Man of the Match : 2005
• UEFA Team of the Year : 2005, 2006, 2007
• FIFA/FIFA Pro Worl XI : 2007, 2008, 2009
• FA Cup Final Man of the Match : 2006
• Goal of the season : 2006
• England Player of the Year : 2007

With the team these are his accomplishments :

• FA Cup : 2000-01, 2005-06
• League Cup : 2000-01, 2002-03;
• FA Community Shield : 2001, 2006
• UEFA Champions League : 2004-05
• UEFA Cup : 200-01
• UEFA Super cup: 2001, 2005
• FA Premier League: 2001-02, 2008-09
• League Cup : 2004-05
• FA Community Shield : 2002
• UEFA Champions League : 2006-07
• FIFA World Club Championships : 2005

Of all his achievements it's a pity that he has never won a premier league title! If he is going to move from liverpool it is going to be for that you feel!

Now to the real sad part..his international career. Not necessarily him as an individual,but england as a team!

It is a case of the right person born in the wrong country! The continued persistence over the years of playing him in the same team as fatpard (lampard) is really not working (unless there are two balls on the pitch),these two are very similar and though lampard is a good player,not as good as gerrard! While his lack of a premiership winners medal can be quickly rectified his lack of a world cup and or euro medal can not,and with his international career heading to its sunset you kind of pitty the lad,he deserves them all.One last pitch at the Euro 2012 and Brazil 2014 maybe...who knows but it seems highly unlikely!
For liverpool he has made 385 appearances in all competitions with 140 goals (quite something for a midfielder!) for country 77 apps and 16 goals.

Refferences : Data - Wikipedia..photos - ktn,ntv.
NEXT UP....NUMBER 9..(Spanish maybe,french,italian...Kenyan? lol look out!)

A late review on Kenya 28th feb..and of the Carling cup!!

KENYA 28TH FEB
1pm, 1 nation, 1 people, 1 anthem, united in 1 prayer for 1 Kenya..
This was the slogan of the day..28th February 2011!!
First of all,Let me say that I was almost shocked to bits to see how kenyans responded to this call. It was great seeing us come together (albeit be it for a few minutes) breaking all barriers,mostly tribal.
 As I always say,this is the generation to take Kenya to the stars! Unlike most of our parents who were born,grew up and schooled in their respective rural areas,then by a stroke of luck hopped on a bus or walked (depending on the proximity to the city!) to nairobi for greener pastures and or further education! On getting here,the whole phenomenon of having to interact with new 'species' hit them by surprise. Unlike us who were born together,grew up and schooled together and are still here,we are even gelled together by a common language (sheng). This is a clear indication to the old guard that our time is NOW!

At first when I was informed of the initiative early Feb,I reacted like most of us did..."Never ever,it will never happen" but as I warmed up to the idea,it began to make more sense,look around you. You see what I see everyday? I wont get into the details of the rot in our contry we all know! Then I thought why not? I mean it's not like they have given us an M-pesa number to send donations to! All they are asking for is for us to sing the national anthem and reflect on where our country is headed. (That's like 10 minutes max!).I mean I can do that,anybody can. So when I stood at 1 pm in my sitting room (I could not risk going to town,I was almost sure that a freshly stoned,trigger happy platoon of the g.s.u will be awaiting my arrival!),tuned in to N.T.V to sing the national anthem it was the most patriotic deed I've done since the safari sevens last year! After that I watched guys at kencom do the same (though a few minutes late) and I thought..aaah now this is Kenya!

That being said,I think if anything of the sort should be arranged in the future,better planning should be put in place. Have more people take part and a plan. Guys were asking "kwani it's national anthem singing day?" The organizers were in such a hurry,they only publicized it in social media,for a month (far too short a time) though it is very economical,it has it's limits! I am almost sure this initiative only took place in nairobi...sparingly! But for a first time,and the effort they put in...I'd say they got an overwhelming response!! And there were no reports of violence,kenyans have a way of surprising me! Here are some photos courtesy of one Richard Irungu (Thanks bro!) from the brigade at the kencom bus station..

CARLING CUP.

Hehehehe I know this is what most of you were looking foward to..it's going to be short,very!! The Carling cup came...and it went..That's it!
I must say I still can't believe how unfair life can be..well from my perspective! A Birmingham fan (brum) would tell you a different story..just ask the dude in this photo..and the chick I must say!

How long has it been? (Since 1963) A long time for the brums. They kinda deserved it,they played their hearts,socks,boots and everything in between to win this kacup! Arsenal on the other hand did the same,but not to the same degree,that coupled with an almost faultless Ben Foster and a bit of bad luck (read Koscielny and Szczesny.). Please note that I do not blame the above named for our cup loss..infact I blame no one! (That is the part that hurts me the most..I dont have anybody to point a fingers at!) Anyone who blames the two above is ill informed or just an amateur! Mistakes happen in football,in life..what counts is how we bounce back from this..I'd like to quote a tweet from arsenal legend Bob Wilson he said,"Felt for Szczesny/Koscielny. Brought back memories of Ian Ure & yours truly presenting Swindon Town with gift during 1969 League Cup Final." then he went on to say " I remember it well ! Hope the young pair learn a lesson . No pro player as gone through a career without making a MISTAKE !" For those who do not know Bobby Wilson (that is all of you) he was arsenal goal keeper from 1963 to 1974 he was the core in the double winning side in 1971 season (he was player of the year).Now that is a legend speaking..I just hope it gets to them. The next game (F.A cup vs L.Orient) is very crucial,infact too crucial!! If I was asked how these players can make this up
for me..a victory at the nou camp will be a good start (I have a feeling they'll do just that!). Finally here are some of the photos that summed up last night!
One Day Arsenal..One Day!!!

P.S I'll be doing the top ten football players of my life time..as in people who I have seen play (So don't expect pele,maradona,van basten!)!

Puppy Love...True Love...No Love?!

In light of many of my comrades,soldiers,dawgs (call them what you want!) friends really,falling by the wayside courtesy of this thing they call 'Love'! That and finally getting tired of having to deal with calls at odd hours of the night (why do people have these seemingly uncontrollable urges to deal with relationship stuff after 2.am? Cant they wait? For another 5 maybe 6 hours?!) I have decided to shed some light,as dim as it might be (ain't everyone's when it comes to love!) and share my 2 cents as it is on the matter.

First love is not a matatu that you get into once you have sighted a 'nganya'! From what I get..it takes time,for the involved parties to get to know each other,get comfortable with each other. Thus this hoola baloo of 'love at first sight' does not hold! 'Lust at first sight' maybe,actually most probably!

This is where my comrades go wrong..they spot a ka'yeiya' (lady) then BOOM..'buda jo niko in love' then a few weeks,dates,down the line 'what the hell was I thinking?'
If my memory and observations serve me right,the best relationships I've seen started with the two individuals not being able to stand each other! Then they warmed up to each other blah blah blah..a million light years later...they are still together!
In short am saying..slow down holmes! Take your time,maisha refu!

So after the ka lecture here are some tell tell signs on where you are headed! i.e these are real signs that have presented themselves in some of the comrades.

1. When you think that she doesn't take a shit,and if she does it's like solid sprite,sweet....
Thats puppy love.
2. When you know that she takes a dump,
and you even make fun of it ooh what a lump...
Now thats love.
3. When you call her to say that you miss her,
5 minutes after you've been together....
My brother thats puppy love...
4. When you miss her but you are too big headed to tell her,
thats not love. (or is it?)
You are just a coward!
5. When 'because of her' you can't sleep let alone eat!
Get a life before ujipate umebeat...
Thats puppy love.
6. When you eat like its your last day,
sleep like its the only way...
Yet you still spare a thot before you lay,
Now thats love...
7. If you say things like 'for her I'll jump infront of a train,
Or that you can take a bullet to the brain...
You are lost in puppy love.
8. But if you know she's smart enough not be suicidal,
and if she would,you'd go laugh in her face at the hospital..
Now thats love! (and very smart if I may add!)
9. If you sing along to every song,thinking of her,you are either 2 years old or yes you in puppy love...
10. If you hear a song,that song..then everything grinds to a halt,
switch off the t.v bro you are watching too many movies its just that....(she probably doesn't even know you,right?!)
11. When you just want to be around her,hata bila story,
Get yourself some friends,sorry...
I dont know what that is.

I hope that the next time these symptomps are present either in you or a comrade,you will rush here and get the prescription!
As a parting shot...To me Love is non existant...what we have is just for convinience!