Puppy Love...True Love...No Love?!

In light of many of my comrades,soldiers,dawgs (call them what you want!) friends really,falling by the wayside courtesy of this thing they call 'Love'! That and finally getting tired of having to deal with calls at odd hours of the night (why do people have these seemingly uncontrollable urges to deal with relationship stuff after 2.am? Cant they wait? For another 5 maybe 6 hours?!) I have decided to shed some light,as dim as it might be (ain't everyone's when it comes to love!) and share my 2 cents as it is on the matter.

First love is not a matatu that you get into once you have sighted a 'nganya'! From what I get..it takes time,for the involved parties to get to know each other,get comfortable with each other. Thus this hoola baloo of 'love at first sight' does not hold! 'Lust at first sight' maybe,actually most probably!

This is where my comrades go wrong..they spot a ka'yeiya' (lady) then BOOM..'buda jo niko in love' then a few weeks,dates,down the line 'what the hell was I thinking?'
If my memory and observations serve me right,the best relationships I've seen started with the two individuals not being able to stand each other! Then they warmed up to each other blah blah blah..a million light years later...they are still together!
In short am saying..slow down holmes! Take your time,maisha refu!

So after the ka lecture here are some tell tell signs on where you are headed! i.e these are real signs that have presented themselves in some of the comrades.

1. When you think that she doesn't take a shit,and if she does it's like solid sprite,sweet....
Thats puppy love.
2. When you know that she takes a dump,
and you even make fun of it ooh what a lump...
Now thats love.
3. When you call her to say that you miss her,
5 minutes after you've been together....
My brother thats puppy love...
4. When you miss her but you are too big headed to tell her,
thats not love. (or is it?)
You are just a coward!
5. When 'because of her' you can't sleep let alone eat!
Get a life before ujipate umebeat...
Thats puppy love.
6. When you eat like its your last day,
sleep like its the only way...
Yet you still spare a thot before you lay,
Now thats love...
7. If you say things like 'for her I'll jump infront of a train,
Or that you can take a bullet to the brain...
You are lost in puppy love.
8. But if you know she's smart enough not be suicidal,
and if she would,you'd go laugh in her face at the hospital..
Now thats love! (and very smart if I may add!)
9. If you sing along to every song,thinking of her,you are either 2 years old or yes you in puppy love...
10. If you hear a song,that song..then everything grinds to a halt,
switch off the t.v bro you are watching too many movies its just that....(she probably doesn't even know you,right?!)
11. When you just want to be around her,hata bila story,
Get yourself some friends,sorry...
I dont know what that is.

I hope that the next time these symptomps are present either in you or a comrade,you will rush here and get the prescription!
As a parting shot...To me Love is non existant...what we have is just for convinience!