When I Die...

" When I die, bury me inside the Jewelry store, When I die, bury me inside the Truey store, True to my religion, true everything I'm too different…So when I die, bury me next to .." 

*cue birthday song, hehe I couldn't resist, always found it ironical though, that they would sing about death in a birthday song. I digress…

Onto serious matters, events over the past couple of weeks have weighed heavily on my mind. And as is with everything else, it starts as some pretty serious issue(s) then quickly degenerates into something I can laugh at and pick a few lessons from.

Throughout my short life, this cruel thing called death has claimed several people I held dear, but it’s the last couple of incidents that have got me really thinking. Over the weekend, a pilot friend of mine died in a plane crash in Kilifi. It still doesn't seem real, he had just started living his life, in his mid-twenties, he was now on his run way to the life.

I sit back at times and think, no hope, that Rojo would come back and be part of the sevens side that lifts the first cup title at the series, na ndio tulipane ile deni ya maji ya Dar. That I’ll be somewhere at Impala or Quins, and Mishu would pop out of nowhere like she used to, and we’ll talk and laugh like we always did.

That when Arsenal end their 9 year trophy drought later this month, we’ll be watching it hapo kwa kina Jijo with Ndiso. That when KCB lift the Kenya cup, in the same weekend, we’ll be toasting with Ochino to the perfect Arsenal, KCB weekend.

Whenever I think along these lines, which has been quite often in the last few days, what hits me hard is the realisation that this life can end in a snap, one minute you are here the next..poof! So I started asking myself, what would happen if I was the next on line? With things blowing up all over, diseases, this crazy lifestyle we lead..that could be sooner than we think..

It would definitely be a happy re union with my folks, with the afore mentioned souls and many more. But what if I could give pointers to what I would like to happen when I do kick the proverbial bucket, kind of like a will, but since I have no property to share yet..it would go something like this..

First if I do die like now, look for two fat boys, one I call PPS the other I call Crony..then find out how another 8 big ass men called the Poed are doing. The good pastor, the big brother and close family would have probably already known.. and yes I don’t have a girlfriend, yet!

Don’t start flooding my social media pages, with RIP messages, oooh sijui gone too soon. Be creative with your messages and wishes, they might just help up there..try something like, “May you be in charge of the recruitment agency that distributes the 72 virgins,” or “May you start ‘OSBHE’ huko”.. (the ‘HE’ is for Heaven by the way, don’t get it twisted, it is the game they play in HEAVEN!)

If tulikua tumekosana before my demise, keep your condolences to yourself, if ushawai nirusha pesa zangu, follow suit. If, ladies, nishawai kuomba ukanikataa, kataa pia na hizo rambi rambi zako. If the last time we spoke was just before the last Safari sevens, niwache priss, jiwekee machozi zako, you are not mourning me, just a wasted opportunity to free saf sevens tickets.. If you fall in one or all of those categories and still insist on kujifanya kunimourn, I will haunt you, till the after life, ukikuja huko utakua form 1 wangu forever!

Please don’t allow them to play that boring funeral music at my burial, you’ll probably fail in this attempt as utasomewa kikamba iishe, but at least play some good music on your way there and back. You know, Johnny Cash’s Ain’t no grave, Pdiddy and Faith Evans’ Missing you, Khona, R.Kelly's I wish, just from the top of my head..ok I’ll make a playlist.

I know this will be said several times, “Don’t be sad, he is in a happy place..” well I hope they are right, but don’t beat yourself up, ujinyime vitu on my account, cry endlessly, such stuff. Machozi ingeweza rudisha mtu, dunia ingekua imejaa, I am not saying that you don’t cry at all, lia kidogo the first few days then suck it up..si ati 2 weeks down the line bado unalia, kwani nilikua na deni yako?

Speaking of denis, if you owed me any money, you are exempted from contributing at my matanga. Otherwise if I owed you any money, you are supposed to pay double the amount at my matanga..yes and I will be watching.

I’ll end my list here so that I still have more than eight friends after this post. So what is today’s lesson? I read somewhere not long ago, “Give them their roses while they are still alive.”  

In other words, appreciate the people you have in your life, while they are still here. Don’t wait for them to die then start weeping over missed opportunities. Second lesson, a cliché.. live it to the fullest, I’d say YOLO but it would murder all the 800 words you just read!

KWISHA…Nimeruka Nje!!!

(Catch me on www.osbke.com where we talk about the sport they play in heaven…)